Thursday, April 28, 2005

D R A M A !

I finally got my client into an escrow and apparently he's having too much fun shopping because he had me put an offer on another property today. I think this second property is a little more suited to him. I also like the area just a little better. It's $20K more than the other one, but it should be. It's more money for me and that's always a good thing.

Here's my problem with this: We're already in escrow. By the time we found out if the offer is accepted we may have run out of time to back out of the first escrow.

I just have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

Both houses are great, though.

And could someone please bring me a solid buyer for the four units I have? I need my next escrow. Five offers an no viable buyer.

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 6:25 PM
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I went out last night to see our favorite all punk all cover band. They were great as usual. They did a bunch of really cool love songs but very Ramone's style. They did When Fools Rush In, Blue Moon, Unchained Melody, Can't Live If Living Is Without You, Annie's Song, Time In A Bottle, Why Do Fools Fall In Love, Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Smoke Gets In My Eyes, Tears Of A Clown, and that's all I can remember right now. It was a really good set. There weren't any fights at all.

I finally realized who Patty reminds me of. Remember that show Twin Peaks? Well she reminds me of Audrey Horne. Not Sherilyn Fenn, but the character Audrey Horne. She's kind of got Audrey attitude and she looks so much like Sherilyn Fenn it's a little creepy. Like if Audrey gained about 15 pounds she'd be Patty.

Miss Ennui asked me who she looks like and I told her Veronica Lake. She didn't know who that was. I don't even know who that is. I've just seen all those old pictures of her and that's who Miss Ennui brings to mind. I'll have to look her up I guess.

We're supposed to revamp Goth Boy's batcave while he's in Vegas. Help me. I have no ideas. I'm thinking barbed wire and metal garbage cans. We tore up that hideous carpet and there's some spanking hardwood floors underneath. We can't get them redone, but he can probably handle that later. I'm so glad they didn't glue the padding down. That makes me crazy. I found a bunch of furniture free on Craigslist and Patty's Man said he'd pick it all up tomorrow. We have to decide on fabrics tomorrow because then we have to choose paint. I asked him what his favorite color was and he said pink fuzzy bunny. So helpful.

He's got an okay fridge and stove. I think we'll just take the cabinet doors off altogether. I think we'll paint the cabinets black. They are so thrashed. He mentioned he likes Patty's Man's black style at his cave. I don't know. I'll leave the fabric to Patty and Miss Ennui.

I went through my postcards and found a lot of really cool vintage looking glamour shots that I think will look cute. I don't know. We have to be really careful not to make anything look girlie. I'm sure Patty's Man or Jimmie will let us know if we've done anything too crazy.

I hope they still have those black vinyl drapes at Al Greenwood's.

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 9:58 PM
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Monday, April 25, 2005

I think I overstayed my welcome at Rhonda and Jimmie's. They're probably afraid I'm planning to kidnap the baby. He is so adorable. I love him. I want to squeeze him and pinch his toes all day long. Jimmie wants to teach him sign langueage when he gets old enough. The baby loves music. And pooping. He loves to drink his formula and poop. Accompanied by Mozart.

Speaking of..I saw Devin Springwalker at Target yesterday and he had a baby with him. This was highly suspicious so as soon as we made eye contact I went over and asked him where the hell he stole the baby from and that if he wanted to return it no questions asked I'd be happy to go to the ED with him to witness his arrest. He said "I thought you said it was no questions asked." I told him it was but that I would call the police and have them meet us there. He said the baby was his. I couldn't imagine anyone dumb or desperate or delusional enough to give Devin Springwalker a baby. Some bizarre space alien breeding experiment seemed way more likely. I asked him about it and he told me to fuck off and called me a stuck up bitch. Wow. That took us both straight back to 6th grade for a moment. He named his baby girl Kira Michelle because he's a bass player. I actually think that's cool and it's a pretty name. Of course I couldn't let Devin know he'd ever done anything right or good or admirable. Then his baby started fussing and he kept trying to stick her bottle in her mouth but she pushed it away. I asked him if her diaper needed changing and he says "God I hope not." Then I let him have it right there in the Target electronics department. I so could not believe the same guy who ate a handful of maggots on a $10 dare was now too squeamish to change his own baby's diaper. He admitted he didn't know how and said that every time he did it there were shall we say containment issues. So I let him in the girl's bathroom at Target and me and a harrumphing old black woman showed him how to change her right. Can you believe he was buying pull up pants for a 9 month old? God he's such a retard. I asked him about the baby's mother and he said she was in jail. I asked him if she was in for shoplifting and he got all offended and said no, she's in for protesting some genetic research lab somewhere in Colorado. I guess that's better than being in for something crim but once you have a baby at home shouldn't you kind of cut down on your protesting activities at least until your baby is in school? After the old black woman kicked us out of the bathroom I told Devin I was sending social services to his place. He told me to fuck off again and went on his way.

No, but really. Shouldn't I send CPS over just to make sure little Kira Michelle is okay?

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 6:58 PM
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Saturday, April 16, 2005

I'm still recovering from Henry. We saw him last night at McCabe's. I love that venue. It's so intimate. My man was in top form last night. He was all out raging as usual. Brigid and her New Man and Gio and Cait drove down yesterday to see him. Katrin and Sean flew in from Vegas. It was a mini Crew reunion. Rhonda and Jimmie even came which is a fucking miracle since Rhonda had just given birth practically.

That's why we all went to the first show last night. Rhonda was dead on her feet by the time we left. I thought Jimmie was about to pick her up and carry her out to the car. It's okay. Little Mr. Baby is fine to be with Jimmie's sister for a few hours. It won't kill him.

Two assholes were at the show. One was a fat ugly guy in a suit who was hopping back forth between the rows. I didn't realize that a upcoming shows flyer was a seat saver. I picked it up and sat down and looked at the flyer. I thought it was McCabe's advertising. You know like they do at churches. So Fat Ugly Guy immediately gets in my face and starts mouthing off to me as he's staring down my tank top. What a way to pick up girls. I wonder if it's ever worked for him. What's the process? First I'll get right in her face and be a completely belligerant dickhead to show her how fierce and on the edge I am. Then right when I'm in the middle of telling her she's an idiot for sitting in MY seat that I was saving for MYSELF so that I can see Henry with no one in my way, I'll start leering down at her cleavage since I have such a good point of view seeing as how I'm standing right over her. Boy, who knows where such an encounter could have ended up if Jimmie hadn't tapped him out. I saw Gio and Sean stand up, too. I went and sat with my friends and totally ignored him when he tried to apologize later.

The other asshole is some complete moron whose cell phone rang right in the middle of Henry. I wish I'd had something to throw at him. This was right after Hank did a whole bit about the banality of cell phones and how if anyone calls him it has to be for a good reason. The guy got off so easy. Henry mocked him for half a second and moved on.

Afterward we all went to Rhonda and Jimmie's and ate pancakes. Little Baby is so stinking cute. I can't stop holding him and kissing him. He's so new he doesn't even cry yet. He just kind of squeeks. I love him.

I miss Ben and Shug and Mr. Steve. We haven't heard a word from them since they went to Indonesia. I know they're okay, but a word would be good. Then I could tell them that Henry's coming their way.

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 12:54 PM
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Friday, April 08, 2005

We saw Sahara. All I can say is "Wow". I think it must have been based on a true story. Well, Matthew is still a cute white boy.

The Grand Prix is this weekend. It's insane here. Currently there is a tailgate party going on in the alley. I don't care. I walked right through what seemed like a scene from one of those "inner city" films. We could probably buy a car just from recycling all the beer bottles out there. It's okay. I'm not sleeping here tonight. I'm bugging out to MP's for the weekend. It's just better that way.

He made me watch episodes of Fat Actress. I want to laugh, and I do, but then again it's just so true. It just feels true. It doesn't even seem like it's a show. MP has been calling everything ass now. We'll walk out of a house and he'll turn to me and say "That carpet was ass." or "That kitchen was ass". I kind of can't wait for this trend to pass.

I got accepted into the certification for mobile notary. I hope it works out. Standard charges are $150 just to have the notary show up. That doesn't include the $10 per signature. Some notaries are now charging for gas and tolls. There's also a midnight charge if the notary goes out between 10pm and 8am for an extra $75. Hopefully, it will be some bread and butter and the real estate can be the catch up cake.

Someone let that crap show A Current Affair back on the air. Why? Next week is Henry Rollins at McCabe's. I wonder why ACA never did an episode about Hank and JC? I better not put any ideas into little heads.

I'm tired. I've been working every stinking day for months. Oh, except that little weekender in Santa Barbara. I want to just relax. I want to just clean my house and take a bubble bath and chill out.

I have to get my bar back from JJ and RH. I have a bar in storage that I have to somehow get up there and get my bar down here. I wonder if Goth Boy would haul that stuff for me? Who am I kidding? Guys that brainy don't do manual labor. Maybe Patty's man would do it. How would I keep him from turning the bar into a transformer?

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 10:54 PM
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Monday, April 04, 2005

Il Popo is dead. Poor little old Pope. It was probably the child molestation scandal that killed him. Am I the only one who wants to hear from Priestess Sinead on this one? They've interviewed everyone for their reaction and opinion on the meaning of the death of the Pope. Why not Sinead? I remember watching SNL that night with a bunch of other people. When Sinead said "Fight the real enemy" and tore up the photo of Popo I shouted "yeah" and everyone else was really quiet and just looked at me. I dumped the guy I was seeing that same week. He was all oh, just because I don't hate the Pope like you. Right, that's it. Of course it had nothing at all to do with how illiterate and ignorant and aloof I found out you were.

What's with all these train derailments lately? Is there a conspiracy between the car and tire and motor oil companies again? Maybe someone should look into that. I think I'm going through something. I have a major craving for my grandmother's cooking which is a bitch because she's been dead for years and hasn't cooked for me in over a decade. I'm so deprived.

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 10:34 PM
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Saturday, April 02, 2005

I don't want to be the blogmistress anymore. I don't know what I'm doing. I hate blogger. I hate ftp and I hate crunching code.

I wish I had a brand new kick ass computer.

Or my own personal tech geek.

Oh, yeah. Goth Boy and Patty's Man are both due back from Europe today. Maybe I should meet them at the airport and throw my laptop at them when they get off the plane.

Or not.

Is Mercury still retrograde?

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 3:38 PM
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