Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Have you ever felt like you were walking through glue? Have you ever felt like you were talking under water? Have you ever felt that you were standing in the center of the eye of the hurricane? Have you ever felt like a Jew among Philistines? A Philistine among Jews? Have you ever came to, looked around, not recognized the landscape or territory, realized you didn't know where you were, or who you were with, or what the fuck happened previously? Have you? Have you ever felt anything like that?


another mad ramble of The Shadow * 3:40 PM
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Friday, September 24, 2004

I am standing on the razor's edge.


another mad ramble of The Shadow * 1:36 PM
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Monday, September 20, 2004

So fucking unbelievable. The city of Long Beach, yes the city with the worst parking situation on the planet, does not maintain a database or list of parking for purchase or lease. Can you believe it? No wonder parking is so drama in this city. I'm so on a mission from Goddess now.

Started my little mini job. It's easy. Kind of boring. It's keeping me and my little coworker in lunches until I get a closed escrow. I have a lot of appointments this week, also. I want to put everyone into escrow. Every single one of them. You! No more fucking around. Get your ass in escrow before the interest rates go up again. And next time listen to your realtor, fucktard.

I'm dating only two boys right now. One is kind of "fabulous", but I don't know if I even like him or just hearing about his fabulous lifestyle. The other is Swiss Boy and he's in Switzerland right now, but he still e's me every two or three days.

I wish Ben and Shug would come home already.


another mad ramble of The Shadow * 2:55 PM
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Went to a funeral this morning. Entering two contests this week. There's a win date with Henry Rollins contest that Heidi May is conducting. I know I'd never win, but I'd like to. There's a sitcom writer's contest I'm entering on Saturday. What a hoot. What a hootenaney (sp?).

I got my delinquent ass a part-time jay oh bee. I'll be working about 20 hours a week at a property management company here in town. Actually it's in vintage village, right across the hall from my wonderful councilman Dan Baker, whom as we all know just loves to hear from me about the shitty parking situation in Long Beach. Bad planning, boys. Should've built garages. If Bixby was such an innovator and if Vincent Thomas and Sr Stearns such visionaries, why didn't anyone anticipate they'd need more garages when they built post war Long Beach? No, really. Why did the formula become 50% garage to living space ratio? Let's call Kay Walton's wrinkled old ass and ask him. Yo, Kay! Why no garages? What's that? Actually, I've noticed that a lot of the original buildings Mr. Walton still has in his own possession have at least 70% garage to living space ratio. I guess someone had their thinking cap on, but not enough. Not enough.

Here's what I propose for the correction of the parking drought in the old LB: First, we incite a riot. These will later become known as The Great Alamitos Beach Parking Riots. During the riot we'll burn down that horrible video palace on Ocean and Alamitos. We'll make sure no one is inside, and that the owner is adequately insured, of course. That way, not only will the owner be compensated for his loss, but he'll also be free to let the city take over the precious lot under eminent domain. We'll also make the city take over the garden at the Ambassador building. These lots will be converted into parking structures. We'll only charge $10.00 a month for local residents. Then the diamond lot and the beach lot can be used as they were intended. We'll make the city paint parking spaces on the parallel sections of Alamitos Beach and we'll actually enforce the motorcycle and unhitched trailor laws. Wouldn't that be so great? If they could fix the parking problem, the area would become infinitely more desirable and I could sell the property there for even more and it could command a higher tax base. Wouldn't that be great? It would. It really, really would.

I went to a funeral this morning. It was surreal, but short and sweet. I have a lot of appointments this week. I'm putting at least two of these people in escrow this month. Next month I'm putting two more in. Two escrows each and every month. I'm paying down all my debt, buying a new car, moving forward with my writing and house projects, and kissing new boys, and losing weight. Okay? Is that a satisfactory plan for everyone? I hope so. It's a little exhausting, but what else can I do?




another mad ramble of The Shadow * 7:06 PM
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Sunday, September 12, 2004

I'm sitting here at the desk in the office waiting for the phone to ring with a ready, willing, and able client who needs to buy million dollar property today, right now, this minute. We went out last night to Zanzibar in Santa Monica. What a club. The music was so loud I could feel it in my chest. The acoustics are horrible. I could feel the floor vibrating all the way up to my hips. It was annoying. Inside the club was sweltering. Outside the club was covered in a haze of cigarette smoke. Everyone was there for La Bella B's birthday. That part was cool.

I found out our friend, M is moving to Colorado for her company. I'll miss her. She's having a going away party at Broadway 11 tonight. Two people, N and JB, both said they had wanted to buy a place and that it was impossible. I tried to tell them about some of the great loans offered right now and they both got mad at me and said it was all a scam so I said, it's cool go and rent. But honestly, I don't know who they're loan officers were, but they both could totally get into something good and their payments wouldn't break their back, either. I won't push it, though. If I was a dentist, I couldn't be talking about oral hygeine without driving everyone crazy, either.

It's hot again already. It's not even 9am and it's already too hot. I can't wait for the weather to break. I hate feeling sluggish and sticky. Monday night is Harmony in my Head at Rhonda and Jimmy's. I'll go to that. I need some company. I need to make some money so I can start working on my vinyl collection again. I have nothing but plans and potential. I'll make good. I've got so many appointments next week, it's great. My goal is to have an appointment every day. Maybe that will annoy me. We'll see.




another mad ramble of The Shadow * 8:22 AM
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Friday, September 10, 2004

Introduced Henry Rollins to a carfull of young ones today. We went to Taco Surf in Sunset for one of our birthdays. We drank Margaritas and Iced Teas and ate tacos and chips and salsa and talked and talked and talked. They were playing the most amazing tracks. Song after song was hitting us like waves in rising tide. They played GenX, Jane's Addiction, Beauty Pill, Rollins Band, New York Dolls, and lots and lots of Ramones. It was so perfect. I asked the waitress who was driving the sound and she said it was the owner's iPod mix. I have to get an iPod. I'm so missing out.

On the way back to the office I made them turn on Indie 103.1 and it was Henry Rollins on the Steve Jones show. How perfect is that? Henry was talking about his first Black Flag tour in England. I made them all listen and they were into it. Some of them had heard of Henry but no one knew who Steve Jones is. Such miseducation in the system. So we've been talking about it all day long and it's kind of funny. Now I'll probably have to loan out my Best of Henry book and then beg it back in a few months. I've been trying to get my HR videos back from a boy I used to work with for over six months. I swear, some people.

My phone got turned off for lack of payment. I was barely able to get it turned back on. I have to pay the electric bill by Monday or lights out. I have to pull $150 out of thin air to avoid being taken to small claims court on a bill I haven't been able to pay yet. I'm not going to freak out. I'm not going to waste time flopping myself down on my bed and crying. I'm just coming in to work every day and doing my best until I get a dollar. Then I'll pay what I can and keep doing my best to get another dollar. So there's my secret plan X. So complex in it's simplicity.

I've been reading a lot of Florence Scovel Shinn. I'm supposed to say that I cast the burden of lack and unpaid bills on the Christ within and I go free to receive abundance. Act as if and the Universe will bestow it upon you. I feel like a one woman cargo cult.




another mad ramble of The Shadow * 2:19 PM
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Monday, September 06, 2004

I went out last night and met a new boy. He's not as "cute cute" as other boys I've been with but he's really kind. I let him come home and he stayed the night. He's a snuggler. We had a lot of great sex and during the night I found out that he's a total Hollywood Boy. He's an associate producer and has worked with all the big names. I'm not sure how I feel about that. He lives in the Hollywood Hills. His girlfriend that he broke up with about a year ago used to work with Madonna. I don't know. People who take lunch meetings sometimes make me nervous. It doesn't matter because I'll certainly never be seeing him again. It was nice, though. He's a very tactile person. He loved to just touch me everywhere and when we finally went to sleep he lined his body up against mine so we were completely spooning. I like him. He's really kind and the sex was really good. Too bad I'll never see or hear from again. At least he brought over two bottles of really good Zinfadel.

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 1:43 PM
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Sunday, September 05, 2004

Sitting on the desk at work. So exciting. Just got off the phone with a major asshole who claims he has over 10 million in cash and needs to "urgently" purchase property. Fine. I don't care what country you're from. I don't care how it came to be that you're walking around with 10 mil in green. Really, I don't. It's too much to think about. The logistics are suspicious at best. Anyway, I told him that if he did indeed have access to that kind of investment capital, I could direct him to several excellent opportunities I knew of in the Naples and Belmont areas. He asked for the addresses so he could drive by. Fat chance, asshole. I'm not as dumb as that anymore. Why should I give you the address? So that you and your cousin the bagman can go and write an offer without me? I don't think so. I asked him what his name was and he told me only his first name. I introduced myself and asked for his last name and number. He refused to give it. I told him that if he wasn't willing to be forward with that information I couldn't take him seriously. He said he was serious and I said well then let's set up a meeting so that we can get started on taking care of your urgent investment situation. He said he was very busy. I asked him what other realtors he was working with and he quickly got off the phone. Then I remembered that another girl in the office was supposedly working with a 10 million dollar investor. More like a 10 mil con.

So I'm sitting here and for some reason I just can't get Wendy O Williams off my mind. Why? Is it because I've been thinking of turning off my own lights? No, not really. I guess it's just the idiocy of the whole situation. Like Paula Yates at Mick Hutchence's funeral. What the fuck was she wearing? When I saw her in that dress I knew she had no female friends. No gayboi friends, either. Who let her walk out of the house like that? We went to see our favorite punk cover band and they called themselves Paula Yates' Cleavage. I'm so convinced they read Rollins.

Anyway, I don't know why, but it occurred to me that Wendy should have stayed in the city. I don't know why she moved out to the country, maybe it was a sobriety kick, but people with her kind of frenetic personality need the energy of a lot of people clamoring together to survive. Perhaps the country left her alone to face herself and her thoughts too much. The city would have provided her with energy and support and help. She wouldn't have been so much a fish out of water or an oddity. Especially in NYC, someone like Wendy could have just blended right in. And what the hell was she doing working with animals? She should've been hostessing an open mic night at punk clubs or the madam of a websex tour or a spokesperson for stripper's rights or something just a little more Wendy. I feel sad when I think of her life. And where the hell is her 15 seconds of fame? I never hear anything about her ever anywhwere. Maybe I'm just reading the wrong material or listening to the wrong stations. I don't think so. I listen to Indie, sometimes 91x, and occasionally KROQ if Jed is on and it's a good song. I also listen to some classical and Smokin' Oldies Jukebox when I can find it. Really, that's all.

I'm hoping to sell a house to the cutest little punk couple. It's a recording studio with a house conveniently attached. I faxed the flyer to all the recording studios and venues I could find in the area. I've had a lot of calls and they were the first showing. They fell in love with it. If they can swing the financing, it's theirs. I hope they can swing it. We'll see.

I'm kind of bored. I'm looking for a job. I wish that 10 million investor was for real. I really could set him up with several different great properties. I wish Ben would come home.






another mad ramble of The Shadow * 3:11 PM
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Saturday, September 04, 2004

Sat on an open house all day today. No one came by except lookie-loos. People are so weird. I love this house, though. I wish I could have it. It's not in the prime location, but it's really cute. I'm so bored. I need to get a job. Just part time. I've applied all over the place. Everything's cool. It should all work out fine, shouldn't it? I mean if someone pursues a goal, providing it's realistic, shouldn't they be able to attain it? I think so. I mean look at JJ. He's totally doing great in his acting. He's how old? He's only been at it for about 10 years and he had to work as a bartender for awhile, but now everything's going his way. I guess I just have to keep at it. The problem with real estate is that you can knock yourself out and still not get paid, or you can practically do nothing and rake it in. Curious that.

another mad ramble of The Shadow * 7:17 PM
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